Truth Be Told, I'm Not Who I Thought I Was

I have never had an issue with hanging my thoughts out for others to read. That is until recently. My family has experienced significant change over the past several months  causing me to take a fresh look at me. Truth is I have been afraid to write out my feelings, until now.

When January 2009 approached I made the decision to focus on trust rather than some alternative New Year's resolution. Turns out it was the very thing I needed. I leaned into a deeper understanding of what it means to have hope. Opting to cling to knowledge instead of feelings. To grasp expectations with open arms knowing God was fully in control despite my lame attempts to steer my own course. I found I don't really like control as much as I thought I did. Life sure is simpler when the Creator of the Universe is given the reigns. I'm still discovering how not to be a backseat driver, to take directions rather than give them. I found out I'm a much calmer me when I do.

A few months shy of 2010 I sensed a need to make an early resolution. My heart settled on contentment. “Oh boy,” I thought. I knew I needed to learn to be content in my job, my finances, and my position in life. I also knew it was going to make for a very difficult year if my attention was diverted to the very place I seemed to overtly struggle. I went after it with both feet letting contentment take center stage right away. I’m so glad I did!

Since I began scaling back before we had to it’s been easier to adjust now that we must. And God has already met me in very tangible ways. I’m not without wants but my needs are certainly exceeded. Most of all, my heart is content. It’s still early in the year and I have a long way to go to master this lesson but I’ve already learned I’m not defined by what I have. I have less and yet, as Mark and Jill Savage teach in their newest book, I absolutely have more!

I may not be completely back to my old, communicative self but I’m far closer than I have been in the recent past. I’ve learned it’s okay to challenge your own status quo, trust when you don’t know the outcome, love what you already have and appreciate the bumps on the road. I may not be who I thought I was but I like who I am and I love knowing God cares enough to grow me.

What have you been learning lately? I'd love to know!


Popular posts from this blog

All Aboard!

God Walks With You

Bitter . . . Sweet