Thursday, April 29, 2010

Can you relate?

I'm curious.

Is anyone else lost as to what they are "supposed" to be doing? Any of you out there wondering "what's my next step?"

I know I'm not alone. I know I can't possibly be the only person on earth lost in thoughts of what's next? Diligently seeking wisdom, guidance, vision, perspective, understanding.

Honestly, a billboard from God every now and then would be welcome. But I wonder in the fast pace of life, would I even notice it?

We want a shout, He whispers. We want it now, He says just wait. He ushers us into the next phase often without the big "todo." We want grand brush-strokes, he offers gentle prods. We long to know, He says, "Here I Am." We seek, He says "you'll find." We give up . . . just as He says move forward.

There is so much to gain every day in the here and now yet we are so quick to dismiss it. We marvel at how yesterday went by so quickly all while impatiently waiting for tomorrow.

I'm challenging myself to learn to stay content every day. To not need all the answers knowing God is in full control. But I'm nowhere near perfection in this. I catch myself desiring direction--Today! At the core I'm learning its driven by fear. Fear of the unknown, the uncertain, the need to control, the fear of having control.

So how do I get the peace I want in knowing I'll know when I need to know? I get that I need to learn to graciously accept the wait. Boy is it hard!

How about you? Do you understand this struggle? What has helped you to both seek yet wait? Especially if you had no idea what exactly you were waiting for? I'd love to know.

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